Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses
by LoneWolfLorelei
Summary: Hisagi Shuuhei ran as fast as his aching legs could carry him. Soaked to the skin in the penting rain he flew onwards. Note crushed into a ball is hs hand. "Kira, hang in there. Please" oneshot


**Title: Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses**

**Pairing: HisagixKira hints of past GinxKira**

**Summary: When Hisagi finds a note in his office he runs to Kira in the pouring rain before it's too late.**

**Warning: contains shounen ai and fluff, no likey no read. Also contains spoilers from S.S arc.**

**A.N: this is my first time writing anything shounen-ai so please no flames, I apologise for it being rather sucky, I am not used to writing about romances.**

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Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses

Shuuhei Hisagi ran as fast as his legs could carry him. It had not taken him long to realise what was wrong with his friend, guilt plagued his mind for letting the subject drop whenever he saw the pained look on his face, for just letting him bottle it all up like that.  
It wasn't healthy.  
What was going on right now proved it.

Kira Izuru-one of the underclasmen who saved his life, fellow fuku-taichou and close (best even) friend-left a note. A note only for his eyes and his alone. A note that's contents made his blood run cold and brought a look of horror to his normally calm face.

His hair wet and dripping, water trickling down his face, uniform clung uncomfortably to his body. He was soaked to the skin but right now he couldn't care less. He flew onwards in the pelting rain. Note crushed tightly in to a ball in his fist.

"Kira, hang in there. Please" The tattooed shinigami pleaded-mostly to himself. His mind flashed up different pictures, all as equally terrifying and horrific as the others.  
"I hope I'm not too late"

Fear and panic fuelling his adrenaline, he continued darting towards third company and the quarters of their depressed fuku-taichou, Kira.

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Salty tears ran down the blonde man's face. His knees brought up to his chest with arms wrapped around them tightly. Hugging them.

He could hear the rain outside his former captain's office, bouncing off the windows relentlessly.

Even though he was gone, captain Ichimaru's presence still filled every inch of 3rd company. It was like he had never left at all.

Many shinigami had wavering emotions since the betrayal of the 3 captains not so long ago ranging from anger to sadness and then back to anger.

Kira only felt one thing, sorrow. The depression never left him. It haunted him. Much like Ichimaru himself who would find ways to make him jump. Sometimes he would be leaning on the door frame while Kira was filing some papers. Just one word was all it took to make him drop those carefully alphabetised papers on the polished wooden floor. Others he would shunpo beside him, whisper something to him just to make the frail looking blonde shiver before vanishing quickly yet again like he wasn't there to begin with.

That wasn't the only thing which was bothering the pale shinigami, the thing which upset him the most was the truth that only he and his captain kept from the rest. The Truth that they had been 'lovers', or at least to Kira that is what they were. Gin never cared for his fuku-taichou.

All he ever did was use him for sex. He pretended to care to get poor Kira in to bed so that he could have his way with the younger man. All it was for him was a way to relieve stress and torture someone relentlessly with the excuse of it being 'kinky'.

Tying him in awkward positions, cutting his tender flesh with Shinso after beating it and also the most commonly used form of torture, taking him raw, no stretching or lubricant. Thrusting deeper and harder with each agonised cry that echoed throughout the seemingly dead halls.

That sudden realisation of being used truly ate at him. All of this time he had thought that the pain was just Gin's way of expressing his love. He has always whispered those words in his ear, his cold voice made his body quiver. In the end they were hollow.

He felt filthy. No matter how much he scrubbed his skin raw he would still feel dirty all over. Nothing could ever change that. Nothing could make him happy-not any more.

Shakily he got to his feet. There. Glistening on the desk. It was Gin's letter opener which much resembled a dagger. As soon as it was spotted it was in clutched in his hand, being gripped hard.

"I should just end it all now" he choked. Stabbing the point in to the exposed flesh on his wrist, his body didn't obey his head however. All it did was cause a horizontal slash.  
"am I too much of a coward to go through with it?" he questioned himself.  
Warm blood trickled down his wrist, sliding down his palms and flowering from his fingertips to little splatters on the wooden floor.  
_I love you, Izuru_ a disembodied voice echoed in his mind.

Gripping the blade tighter her moved his arm to bring it down full force this time. This time he was going to do it. No more feeling filthy. No more memories of agony and no more hearing that voice in his head.

A strong hand gripped Kira's wrist tightly before he could bring it down on himself. It squeezed the thinner wrist hard enough so Kira would release the threatening weapon.  
"Kira...why?..." Shuuhei pleaded, spinning the shorter man around to look him in the eye.  
"s-sempai!" unable to fight them off any longer, the blonde vice captain let more tears stream down his cheeks. "I-it's not fair sempai, it's not fair".

Soft lips found his forehead, hushing his tears for the moment.  
Strong yet wet arms wrapped themselves around Kira's small frame. "i know...i know" Hisagi whispered soothingly.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Hisagi embracing his best friend and Kira letting every last tear-drop fall on Hisagi's already wet shoulder as they knelt opposite one another.

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In the back of his mind, he had written that note for Hisagi in the hope that he would come to his rescue, that he would save him from himself, and that is just what happened.

When he read the note Hisagi's heart skipped a few beats, he would not let one of his friends kill themselves, especially one that he treasured amongst the others. In truth Hisagi felt a stronger emotional attachment to Kira, stronger that friendship. He would go to the ends of the earth just to please him. If someone threatened him, he'd beat them senseless, that's just how he felt. He knew he was in love with the other vice captain.

He just found it difficult to find the right moment to confront him.

Soft lips met with Kira's own. They tasted a little salty from the rain water but the younger shinigami didn't seem to care.  
Eagerly he leaned in to the kiss, enjoying the warm feeling it gave him in his chest.

"I love you, Izuru" whispered the rain soaked Hisagi, staring deeply in to those gorgeous ocean blue eyes with his own onyx ones. Smiling warmly at the other man. A genuine smile rather than a fake grin that seemed painted on.

He wasn't lying, his eyes told it all with confidence and sincerity.  
The corners of Izuru's mouth curved up in to a smile of his own as he stared adoringly at the soaking Adonis in front of him.

"I-i think I-i love you too, sempai" he stammered only to receive the gentle lips pressed against his own again.

"don't you ever scare me like that again" Hisagi choked out in remembrance of what was written in that accursed letter.

The pale shinigami wrapped his arms around Hisagi's neck. "I'm sorry for being such a burden"

The 9th company vice captain wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist and pulled him on to his lap.

"you could never be a burden to me, Kira" he said soothingly. His lips moving slowly on Izuru's exposed flesh.

Leaving a trail of butterfly kisses all over his neck and cheek, the way he would always like them.

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